As you might have guessed, here at Toastmasters, I like to talk about me. Why? Well, it’s because “me” is the topic I know most about. So, when I was thinking of what to talk about tonight, I thought about an event that happened to me last week. It doesn’t really have a theme or point; it’s more of a small slice of my life than anything else.

First, I’ll give you a little background. In China, the law states that upon arriving in China, foreigners need to register with the local police within 24 hours. This also applies to resident foreigners who move house. For those who don’t follow the law, they can be fined up to 500 RMB.

Some of you might know that I moved house in January. I knew about this requirement but kept putting it off as I didn’t think the authorities would care too much, as they haven’t in the past.

Now, finally, motivation to register my residence, my employment visa expires next month and this is one of the required documents I need to provide. So, I decided to make my way to my local police station last Friday to get my new Temporary Residence Permit.

In the past, this has been a 5 minute job – walk in, hand over the passport, photo copy of landlord’s ID, and proof of ownership, and get back the temporary residence. Done, easy. No talking required (in my case, this is important as my Chinese is terrible and the police officer usually doesn’t speak English).

This time, it wasn’t so straight forward. As it was pretty much a last minute decision of mine to go to the PSB at that time, I totally forgot that I needed to also bring a copy of my landlord’s ID and proof of ownership. Oh, and I was over a month late in registering!

I just showed up, gave them my passport and rental contract, smiled… But then the officer started asking questions! The first couple, I could answer. But then it started getting complicated. At that point, I told her I’d call my girlfriend and she could talk to her.

Long story short, the officer was asking whether my landlord even registered the apartment for rental. Of course, my landlord did not! Yikes!

I called my landlord, gave the phone to the officer, they talked a while, and I ended up having to wait an hour for my landlord to get to the police station with the relevant documents to register the apartment.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the police station, people are looking at me, probably thinking “what’s this foreigner in trouble for?!”

I managed to get off with an official warning letter that the officer made me sign. I am not in the “system” for breaking the law…

I have a few observations from this story. First, the authorities are really getting serious about foreigners and ensuring foreigners who aren’t supposed to be here, aren’t.

Second, it’s important that if you don’t speak the language, always have a friend or two on standby who can translate over the phone!

Expats take note!  If you’re like me who has to do a lot of the “admin” stuff yourself (because your not a delegated expat executive with a staff), such as registering at the local police station when you move, don’t delay. It’s only going to get more mafan, and cops don’t like to smile too much.

I was talking to one of the members of my TM club last night after the meeting and she made a few good points (the commentary is mine, the general ideas are hers):

1. If you have a foreign guest visit you, you are technically required by law to register that guest at the local police station. If you don’t, the same penalties can apply.
2. The authorities most likely have a hidden motive for all this added mafan, and it’s unlikely due to them just randomly deciding “hey, let’s keep track of these foreigners!” It’s clearly Olympics-driven, and one theory is they want foreign guests to stay at the overpriced hotels instead of having short term apartment rentals (there are services that are lining up apartments for visitors during the Olympics – so if you have an apartment, and don’t want to deal with the Olympics, you could go on a nice holiday and make some $$$ renting out your place). I bet they want to crack down on that stuff as these “behind-the-scenes” deals won’t be contributing to the tax revenues of the city. See? It all boils down to “bring the dollar in through the door” (or RMB in this case).

In the almost 5 years I’ve been riding my motorbike through Beijing, I have enjoyed an almost-invincibility / invisibility from the traffic police. Sure, I’ve heard stories of foreigners being stopped (driving either cars or motorbikes) by traffic cops for one thing or another, but usually playing the old “sorry, I don’t speak Chinese” trick was enough to get out of it.

I have seen many times when coming up to an intersection with cops directing traffic or conducting random checks on passing vehicles, the cop would slightly turn a bit so he and I would not lock eyes, thus letting me pass by.

Why were foreigners seemingly treated differently than the locals? Was it that the traffic police just didn’t care? Was it unofficial / unwritten policy to let us be? Was it a lack of confidence in their English capabilities? (because you know that the foreigner, whether he speaks Chinese or not, he won’t say a word in Chinese if he knows what’s good for him!)

Whatever the real reason, I didn’t care as it turned out to be an advantage.

The Incident

One of my normal routes to get the office in the mornings is to get onto the 2nd Ring Road at the Guangqumen bridge, drive North a bit, then get on the East-to-West expressway Tonghuihe to 4th Ring Road, then drive north ’til Dashanzi – then take surface roads the remainder of the way to the office.

(Now, as an aside, a quick reminder for those who don’t know. Officially, motorbikes, like what I drive, aren’t allowed on the Ring Roads/Expressways. I can’t count how many times cops have seen me but turn a blind eye. Yes, I know that doesn’t make driving on them right, at least, according to the law… I digress… )

This morning was no different. 2nd ring road was packed with traffic – but as I would only be on it for 400 meters before getting on the speedy Tonghuihe, it was worth the 5 minutes of mental anguish.

As I was getting onto 2nd Ring from the entrance ramp, the traffic cop who was at that entrance saw me, pointed at me, and told me to go to the side! Shit! (My papers/tax/inspection aren’t exactly up to date – something I’ve been meaning to fix) .

I stop, and wait for him to approach me. After a minute, he comes to me, points at the road (2nd ring), and says “No”, while shaking his head a bit. Then he points up the entrance ramp where I came from, motioned for me to follow him (he directed me against traffic, so he wanted it to look “official” I guess), and I did, and I drove away.

Whew!

O.K., so that could have had a few different results, but I am certainly happy with the result I had. The only annoying thing now is that route is clearly off limits, at least during morning rush hour, as I am sure that if he sees me again attempting the same shenanigans, I won’t get off as easily as I did today.

Darn the Olympics / social & economic progress / shitty city planners / “we must have a car” new middle class.

Beijing just isn’t the same anymore…